Murphy's Law?
by Kikilia14
Summary: What happens when Xena and Gabrielle, in search of some quiet time, are constantly interrupted by Joxer and a new friend? A fun one-shot.


Usual disclaimers apply.

Murphy's Law?

"Xena, what in the gods name are you doing?" Gabrielle asked. The bard had her hands on her hips and was watching as Xena checked every part of the cave they had found, her sword drawn and ready to be used.

"Just checking," the warrior responded never veering from her task.

"Checking for what?"

"Seems clear," the warrior mumbled almost to herself before sitting down in front of the fire.

"Xena, what were you checking for?" Gabrielle demanded again sitting down next to her lover.

"Just making sure there'd be nothing here to disturb us when I did this," Xena responded pulling the bard into a deep kiss.

Coming up for air, Gabrielle smiled. "Not that I'm not appreciative, but why so concerned?"

"Because every time we've tried to be together in the past moon something has stopped us."

The blonde nodded, "Yeah, that warrior-wanna-be that's been following us. I swear, he's more trouble than Joxer, and that's saying a lot."

Xena nodded. "First in Appollina he manages to poison the entire town's water supply on accident, interrupting the first night alone we'd had in weeks."

"Yeah, then we finally make it to Eresos for the first vacation we're supposed to have in almost four moons, and he manages to have most of the population of women wanting to kill him."

"Well, how was he to know that wasn't a man?" Gabrielle asked. "I mean her hair was pretty short."

"We were less than a day away from Lesbos Gabrielle!" Xena threw her hands up in irritation. "Everyone knows that's where Sappho's followers meet, how on earth he couldn't figure it out even after she laid him flat…."

Gabrielle leaned into Xena and chuckled, "Though who knew that her partner's right hook was even worse?"

Grinning herself, Xena bent down to kiss the bard once more. "So Gabrielle," blue eyes twinkling, she smirked. "Wanna kill some time before dinner?"

"Oh yeah," Gabrielle responded. Moving in for another kiss, the women were stopped from anything further by the sound of loud scream and the feel of the earth below them shaking.

"Xena?"

"Gods be damned, I will kill him myself…" Xena responded, pulling her leathers back up. Standing, she grabbed her sword and moved to the entrance of the cave.

Sighing, Gabrielle tied her own top before grabbing her staff and joining her lover. "No, Xena, how, I mean…" trailing off Gabrielle merely shook her head as she watched a familiar warrior-wanna-be and another, tin armor clanging, run as fast as they could from the rather large, angry mob chasing them.

"Should we save them?" Xena asked in a bored tone.

"Only if you promise we can send them to bother Salmoneus for a while," Gabrielle answered. "I'm still upset about the last scheme he involved us in."

Xena chuckled, "Yeah, always fun trying to get hot peppers out of places where he had them shoved. Okay my bard, let's go."

Running towards the melee, Xena's war cry rang out as Joxer and his new friend ran past them as fast as they could. "Xena, Gabby, great to see you. We're just…." Tripping, Joxer's explanation was cut off as Xena and Gabrielle managed to stop the crowd mid chase with only the patented Xena stare.

"Care to tell me why you're chasing those men?" Xena asked deeply.

"They single handedly managed to destroy our village's most prized possession!" An older man with a blue hat stepped forward. "Our village is known throughout the known world for this statue."

"What village?" Gabrielle asked in excitement.

"Loutraki," the man answered, eyes narrowed.

"You mean the village on the shore? The one with the large statue of the golden lion painted with a blue mane?"

"Yes," the man nodded sadly. "Those two," he paused to point at the now panting figures hiding behind a tree. "Managed to not only knock it over somehow, but tried to repaint it first!"

Shaking her head, Xena turned to look at Joxer as he shrugged. Putting her sword by her side she turned back to the man. "Tell you what, let Gabrielle and me handle those two and you go back to your village and try to fix the statue."

"And what guarantee do we have that you will make sure they never show up in our village again?" a voice from the crowd called.

"She's Xena," Gabrielle said simply waiting for the look that usual followed the announcement. Yep, there it was. Smiling she turned to the crowd, "So are we agreed? Xena and I handle this and you go back to your village?"

Seeing a sea of heads nod in agreement, the women watched as the mob finally dispersed before turning back to the men behind them.

"Gee, thanks for that. Xena, Gabby, I mean, who knew they were so dead set on keeping that ugly blue mane?"

Holding up her hand Xena waited as Joxer finally silenced. "Joxer, enough. Look, you two spend the night with us and then you need to go off and help a friend of ours."

"Really?" The man's eyes lit up at the thought. Turning to his new friend he motioned for him to come closer. "See, I told you Xena and Gabby would be fine when we caught up with them."

"Um yeah, you did." Running his hand through his blonde curls, the younger man sighed. "Sorry guys, guess I did it again huh?"

Watching Xena's back march away from her Gabrielle merely turned and nodded, "Yeah Murphy, you certainly did."

"It's been that way since I was a kid," Murphy called out to Gabrielle's retreating back. "Whenever I show up trouble seems to follow or plans get postponed or changed."

"Kind of like a Murphy's Law? Huh?" Joxer teased.

"Exactly. Cool, I'm a law."

"More like a pain in my …"

"Xena," Gabrielle cut the warrior off. "Let's just get dinner and to bed. We need for Joxer and Murphy to go and help Salmoneus bright and early tomorrow. The sooner they leave the sooner they can help him."

Xena nodded, "True. I'd hate for Salmoneus to be without help for much longer."

Joxer rubbed his hands together and then nudged Murphy. "See, I told you that Gabby and Xena would have an important job for us to do."

"Yep, you did." Murphy grinned. "So what's the job?"

Xena and Gabrielle looked at one another and Gabrielle slowly made her way back towards the men. "You see fellows," Gabrielle started. "We need you to make sure Salmoneus is able to complete his work. He'll fill you in once you get there. We don't want to give too much away, you know for safety reasons."

"Sure," Joxer nodded his head. "We understand."

"Yep, we sure do," Murphy added. "So when's dinner?"

"Right now." Xena pointed to the cave. "Soup's over the fire. Let's eat and get to sleep."

XENA***BARD***XENA****BARD****XENA***BARD

Xena and Gabrielle waved to Joxer and Murphy as they headed towards the last town they'd known Salmoneus was staying in. "Do you think they'll find him?" Gabrielle asked.

"Who knows?" Xena shrugged. "And right now, I don't care. As long as Joxer and Murphy are gone, I'm good."

"Me too," Gabrielle took Xena by the hand and led the warrior back into the cave. "Now shall we pick up where we left off before we were interrupted?" she asked squealing when Xena picked her up and carried her into the cave.

XENA***BARD***XENA****BARD****XENA***BARD

Hope you all enjoyed the one shot. Don't worry- there's more Sam coming, but I'd finally finished this one and decided to post it.


End file.
